Yin and Yang of telephone manners

Yo Fellas.. Back again with a Β thumping thought!

It’s kinda weird the way certain people deal with other people. It seems there is a viscosity quotient, that stumbles and grows when they are together, but topples when they lose visual contacts. These people suffer from a disease not so usual, which is called “If I don’t see you, I won’t call you”. πŸ˜€ Not that it matters like life and death, but still. The symptoms?
Here goes :

they talk like “I cant remember calling somebody! What should I talk? I’ve got nothing to say!”

Not really a symptom eh? What did you think “They” are? Well, I am one of those “They”! And I ain’t suffering from a disease I tell ya!

But the things slightly really change. e.g. the way we (have to) interact with Male and Female friends over telephones. Ok, I admit, there is a HUGE difference the way we interact with the two categories. Girls are always more cynic. And mental. And superficial. Period. πŸ˜›

This was one of the d-days when I got two calls from my college friends, and they were really angry with me for not calling them regularly, like once in 6 days. (WTF?) Here we go!

(Male one)
Friend : Hi, man!
Me : Hey Buddy! How are you?
Friend : You go to hell!! You #$%#$%^$%^&%^%M and you cheap rascal, you couldn’t even call me all these days!
Me : Take it easy fella.. You haven’t died or gone mad or something.. What should I talk? Everything’s fine here!
Friend : you are one absolute bastard piece of … @#$@# ..! Hey, BTW, you know, I talked to Mukta yesterday!! πŸ˜€

And it all goes well after that. It’s like very DIRECT for us. For boys (humans).

But, for Girls. As in (friends, cousins, sisters)
(Female one\ non-human one)

Fiend : (Sorry, Friend πŸ˜‰ ) Hi.. (A Big Sigh)
Me : Hiiii (A bigger sigh)
Friend : Where have you been these days.. (Another sigh)
Me : Nothing.. Here only.. Was just busy somewhat.

(Now you are called nothing but an idiot if you use “Busy” with The Friend)
Friend : Apparently. You have got everything to do but call me. I dont have any importance in your life. You cant even call me on weekends. I cant believe you are telling me you were so busy that You couldnt even call me alas there is no willingness to meet. bla bla bla bla…
(For around 10 minutes. There is only one way to know when to stop this friend from speaking. Take out the cell phone and put a cotton bowl in your ear. If there are stains of blood. STOP HER!)

I put the phone down. I make coffee for myself. I put the bread in toaster. I get butter. I pour coffee. I take a chair and get to balcony. And get the phone back up to the ear. Ears, when subject to higher decible levels unceasingly, could get damaged.

“….. You have no respect for my feelings. Didnt you miss me?”
Me : I am sorry. yes yes.. I miss you.
Friend : like what?

And I went on to tell just like moon misses sun and that stuff. You know, girls never grow old. At the age of 40, they would still believe a man telling them you come to my dream. I mean, Grow Up!!

Mitigation to the disease : The Government is to pass a rule amending the current law of marriage age. For Girls, now onwards the marriage age should be atleast 30. So that there partners could be saved from severe mental distress and disorders. πŸ˜›

Hail Everyone!

The content below may be offensive to some people. I apologies to them. I had nothing better to write on. πŸ˜‰ Request to just enjoy..


16 thoughts on “Yin and Yang of telephone manners

  1. a relevant one liner I remember for you … ” be careful while talking on the phone … you might get hearing AIDS” πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    • Non-human is just a dis-ambiguation for the object in question. πŸ˜‰
      Pardon me sir, it was just a joke. I have some reasons to believe there is a strong sense of irony with the sentence-
      “A girl talks sensible” πŸ˜€
      Ahem Ahem

  2. Hi Chirag,

    The piece was a good one and njoyed the read….apparently….we share the same Dukh-Dard….. πŸ˜‰

    Keep on Writing…

    • That dukh has been greater on your front. I was like a mock-watcher, who was scolded from one of teachers just because he was made to stand up all the time by his lover friends πŸ˜‰

      Right Mr. Amey? πŸ˜€

  3. well done boy!! gud one ! even i wrote a similar stuf bt nvr published it.

    @ saurabh: i gues that one-liner was mine.

  4. it goes like dis ” make sure u don giv a hel lotta tym for fon sex. u may end up having hearing AIDS ” πŸ˜‰

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