Oo Oo Womaniya!!

Did you know that 80% of the advertisements today are produced keeping woman’s appeal in mind. (Actually I just made that up, 😛 but you get the drift). I was watching a south Indian movie this sunday and there came the famous “Sirf 2 minutes ka break!”. For some reason, I didnt change the channel (I didn’t have a choice to go to, its weekend, what do you expect.) so I sat through the Ads. And Boy, I realized that nowadays advertisements are made for chimpanzees, not for humans. So dumb! Even a monkey knows he’s not gonna get a monkey chick just because he used a specific brand of underwear. Grow up, losers! The only way you’re gonna get somebody to like you is good old ways: Talk, communicate, improvise. Spoiler: you don’t need to wear deodorants!! I know, right?

So I thought, instead of continue watching that dumb movie, why not educate our country’s teenagers a little bit, who I think eat grass in dinner. So wannabes, off we go!

** Deodorant **

Ah, my favourites! So people, first and foremost. When it’s hot outside, you sweat. And you fatasses sweat so bad, that it stinks. People can’t stand within 10 feet from you. So, a company starts making deodorants. Which does what? NO! It doesn’t get you chicks. 😀 It frees you from your stench. I can promise you the only plus you are getting off a bottle of deodorant is that you won’t choke and die on your own smell. 😀 Got it? Now repeat after me: “Deodorants don’t get you chicks.”. Good. Good.

Girls: Not that it matters, but whatever you do, you will get guys I promise. So, just one advice: Do whatever you want.

** Toothpaste **

“Paas Aao, Meri saanso me samaao.”

I remember watching a lady in a retro 70’s ad while a person hummed this song “Kya aap close up karte hain”. Such a catchy tune. Until a couple months ago, I was aware of the fact that toothpastes are for brushing your teeth. The only other use I knew of this product was to eat it in childhood, because they tasted so awesome!! 😀

But guess what, according to the recent studies (read Ads) it turns out, if you are brushing your teeth with Close-up, you are gonna get kissed from a lady, who herself would brush her teeth with same paste! Otherwise, ofcourse its not possible. I mean, what is the point of kissing when one’s brushed teeth and other has just used Mintos!

** Clothes & Undergarments (Don hai to On hai) **

Ok this is self-explanatory.

** Mobile Phones **

Okay, this one is straightfold dumb. There was an ad on TV a few days ago where a phone boasts of ultra fast Wi-Fi and promises to make your life ultrafast. So, this idiot girl sits close to her and laughs on a comedy video streaming “Only because the phone has ultrafast WiFi you know”. The guy notices the girl having a good time and comfortably puts his arms around her. Now, 1st point is it’s difficult to point out the guy in this ad.

If you’ve had any experience even closer to this, do tell me in comments, but the “Ultra-Gay” event depicted in the Ad is never supposed to happen (Although I wish a hug was that cheap 😉 ).

It’s kind of disappointing to see the quality of Ads. I remember and miss the days of Ads like “Wonderful Doodh”, “Nerolac”, “Dairy Milk”.

Once in a while we see good ads today. But the pace with which the concentration is shifting towards attracting girls/women in Advertisements is awful. India is a country which rides on waves. Amitabh Sneezes one morning and the whole India goes out of their minds. Be it cricket, be it Anna Hazare/Lokpal bills, Orkut/facebook: We always overdo things. This new wave riding teenagers’ mind: Having a girlfriend/boyfriend, I gotta tell ya fellas, its completely overrated. 😀

Oh, you wanna smash me in comments, go on talk about forever alone. I won’t blame you lot. But think over the point. Sometimes its good to give a little exercise to young chap. Let’s wear our thinking hats shall we.

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Peace out!

Edit: One of my friends took offence on calling that South Indian movie “Dumb”. Whilst I appreciate his scrupulous eye, on the other hand I want to clarify, I can call any movie “Dumb” I want. It’s not regionally adherent, but believe me or not, most of the movies made today ARE DUMB. So, southies don’t need to take any offence here, alright? Peace out!

Break ke Baad

“Hey.”

“Yea?”

“It’s me.”

“Hey.. What’s up?”

“I just called to say Goodbye.”

“Umm.. Good.. bye?”

“Yeah. Have a nice life.”

Click.

I wanted it to be short. I wanted it to be colourless.

Like love. Short. colourless. non existent. Break up call is something where you are supposed to be breaking up, alas.

I was burning inside. Never did I feel a stronger need to know what must’ve happened to her with this (call).

Days passed. Time went on. I spent days working and nights singing and shouting along to phil colin’s “I don’t care Anymore”.

When you are in relation with someone for a good time, everything seems to remind you of that ‘Someone’. Indeed time would heal the wound, but every wound before healing is bound to hurt more. Burn more.

And probably leave a mark.

Love is exactly like wound. Because it feels good to scratch around it. Scratch out good ol’ times.

After some more time, comes the time to stop whining about why did this happen. The Reason. Cause and effects. That time brings with it indifference, a sense of betrayal and remnants of untrust. Comes the time to wish the reality wasn’t this hard to mug. Comes the time to wish reality would be predictable. Comes the time for epic realization, that every relation is bound to fade, every affection bound to evaporate. What matters is time when the tides are gonna hit you.

I have come to believe that my sorrows are the only thing that are never going to leave me.

Facebook Trends # 1

Howdy!

Long as long we surf internet : one window of browser is honestly devoted to Facebook. Skimming over the pages browsing updates, comments, shared media, girls, piks :-X and what-not. Seldom we would use our brain while on Facebook, lest being rational. I thought of Documenting this rather Beautiful human phenomenon and here we are!

So, let’s shed some light on some of in-demand trends of Face book :

1. Face book is a very effective tool for women empowerement and gender discrimination against Men :

(Courtesy : http://ankitmehta.net/facebook-profile-gender-discrimination)

2. With this newly introduced ‘Micro – blogging’ and a strong-will-to-write-than-read, we’ve got more people updating their status more frequently than they go for pee. We might as well see Chat and IM programs appending a new status : “Away for a pee” in their already too-personal list. Updating facebook status is also a practice space for copy paste :

  • Go to Sickipedia, or quotes.com
  • Copy a good looking line.
  • paste in to the facebook “What you are upto”.

Tadaa!! 🙂

3. Even Moore wouldn’t have imagined complications of his own law when he concluded “cost of electronics items will halve every year. With all those High end (and Cheap) cameras and more people swarming over social networking, its such an anguish looking over your albums-laden Facebook wall which shows people showing out cheesy faces and crippled gestures and rotated views. Gosh Its boring. Unless its a GIRL. See point number 1. 😉

4. Creating groups-that-nobody-cares-about. Imagine what good this group name tells you “Me and My cell”. Two of sleight, isn’t it? Really, its good to congregate. Grab the attention. But you might not be inventing more pokes than are already there. 😀 I mean, okay, we get it. YOU ARE KOOL. Now stop it alright?

So, fellas, you got it right. Facebook IS for females. Or males obsessed with praising, Sharing every single thing they watch on youtube, imitating KEWL with absurd likes and groups. And so, I will go on and paste an update about the blog I just posted. 😉

To be Contd..

The last Cigarrette

He opened the pack and took the cigarette out.

“The last one“, he hissed, glancing at me.
The air breezed softly past us, the lighter fought to remain alive, a red glitch appeared through the corner of his mouth.

I felt the smoke on my face, “Why do you smoke?” I said, disgruntled with myself for some unobvious reason.

“Why don’t you?”

“It’s bad for lungs.”

“My lungs are no good.”

Silence followed. The smoke began to talk with air. Night started to wither along the cigarette. Somehow I felt this cigarette must not end. Chirag Deshpande

Suddenly he threw it away, halfway burnt, took his foot upon it, taking the life away from it.. I looked at his foot, then at him, then the smoke still reminiscent across, dissolving in the dark, just as it was supposed to.. How easy it’s for some things to let go.

“Is the dawn still away?”

“I guess not. You want to have some sleep?” Chirag Deshpande

“I want to wake up.”