Hip-Hop Office Jargons Part – 2

Standard Office Jargons :

This is part 2 of the series “Standard Office Jargons”. For part 1, Please click here.

FYI logo

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  • FYI : Don’t get on the length of this SENTENCE. This Uncanny officialese acronym does more than just annoying you. Everytime I get a mail with a long Mahabharatha Story written below an “FYI : For Your Information” mail, I get a rainbow of emotions. I wonder whoever wants to have me read this information overload, have really gave it a try himself? I guess not. Knowledge is to distribute, not grasp. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Atleast thats what seems true in official mail chains.
  • FTCQ : forwarding to correct queue, in other words, getting rid of it.
  • Oncall pager :ย  Its the device which shows your extreme chauvinism and jingoism towards your company and team. Its an evil agent which brings the pleasures of office works anywhere you can imagine. I’d rather switch off my pager before going to washroom, or I’d rather NOT go there. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Someone asked me what alias can be given to this frightful device, and allย  I could muster was “An antenna-Up-in-The-Ass”!!
  • OOO : Every time I send mails to a distro or multiple teams, I get atleast 5 OOO mails! Who the hell cares whether you are available or not!! All you have to do is to have someone else do the same thing you should have done in place, FTCQ!!!
  • EOD : End-Of-Day tasks or Jobs or operations, as is clear, are expected to finish by evening. I’d rather call them Armageddon events as if some asteroid is waiting for us to not complete the task so that it can strike us! Imagine someone yelling at youย  “I want reports rechecked, presentation made, defects fixed and HLD understood by the End of Day.” And I’d say, ‘Are you sure about End of Day or End of World, coz you took atleast 5 mins to count the tasks!”
  • Sweets @ my desk : Now this is a phenomena from where Coulomb got actually the idea of inverse square law of relative forces between things. You see, the rate of consumption of sweets is inversely proportional to the square of time you will get to reach the desk, so if you are not talking about superficial speeds of like 10 millisecond to reach, forget you are gona ever have a piece left. Even gravitational forces become too feeble over that magnitude, and here we are talking about sweets and chocolates. ๐Ÿ˜›
For part 3 of the series, click Here.
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