What’s Trending you ask, Idiocy I say.

Heylloo and whats up! 2012 passed and 2013 is here already.
Basically here’s where I gotta write the intro part of the article. But heck, lets lose out into the matter at hand. Coz seriously I can’t think of something funny to say here every time you guys. Give the fellow man a break. Aaaaaaaand Off we go:

The Slap of truth: Dayaa ka chaanta

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Long gone are the days of concentration camps of Hitler, when chemists worked really hard to discover and synthesize chemical substances which could make you speak truth. India’s premier crime investigation unit CID uses a different model. Na na na, we are not talking about some other chemical shit, or electric chair. It’s something far more dangerous: The Slap of Truth! Dayaa, whose length is equal to breadth, is the man of the hour. No matter how hideous crime, how rough the criminal is, he’s bound to speak truth when he gets slapped by our fella. It’s a divine thing, actually. There is one more advantage actually, as soon as the criminal gets slapped; the criminal gets delivered to CID headquarters, unless they are not already there.

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Sometimes I am bound to think that stories for CID are written backwards. They decide who’s going to commit crime, what crime, who will get killed and then they come to why.

It’s about time Dayaa starts a stall outside malls and parliament. 1 slap for 200 bucks, 2 for 150.

100 Crore ka Sach!

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Okay. Forbes say increasing prices of movie tickets are responsible for movies grossing in excess of 100 crores today. growing no of multiplexes, digital reprints, wide releases. They all might constitute to this outrageously exceeding collections. But in my opinion the main reason is the same which is the reason for india’s upwards of 100 crore population: “Illiteracy”. ahem? ahem? Did I lie.

I mean who the fuck are these people who go to watch heroes cranking people’s skull and everytime they slap villains in the head, there is a sound of two metal balls colliding. Thhhhannnnnnnnnnn! What’s up with that???

On few occassion we were trapped in the movie halls of these films, I have seen my friends amidst song humming the lyrics even before they’ve sung it in song. I mean how predictable you wanna be. I bet you there would be an android app on the market right now for creating movies. It will take input : Hero, Heroine & villain name, Name of production to decide the release date and a plot from another 100 crore grossing movie. After all the story writer is a chimpanzee from the near jungle on a booze and doped heavy. Or may be some birds chirped on keyboard and the story writer called it a day.

Salman khan seems to be on a truth and dare contest where someone has given him a task: Either marry or do movies without storywriters. Well the latter is easy so here we are.

MTV roadies: Everything which is wrong with Today’s youth.

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So I heard somewhere that MTV roadies is kicking off its 10th Seasons. Oh no. I mean the city’s gutters are already choking down enough shit and we are starting roadies 10. They are advertising on TV that Roadies is the first reality show to reach 10th season. Well, someone needs to know when to stop. Guys. I’ll tell you. You know what roadies is? Apart from being a pathetic ground to show off swearing is a KEWL thing, it represents everything which is wrong with today’s youth.

Oay, tell me what kind of real world situation you are gonna find yourself into where you’ll have to Poll dance.

It’s a show of duality. You’ll be taught to be respectful to girls yet you’ll have to hurl limitless abuses towards each other. Honestly will be rewarded only if its backed by dirty politics about who will vote out whom. The only thing which is constant about it is it’s Straightfold Dumb!

Govt should make a separate facility for the people who look forward to new seasons of this show and will want to attend the interview.

Ain’t this article got a beginning. And it sure as hell isn’t gonna have an end. So see you lovely fellas soon!

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Piece out!

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Break ke Baad

“Hey.”

“Yea?”

“It’s me.”

“Hey.. What’s up?”

“I just called to say Goodbye.”

“Umm.. Good.. bye?”

“Yeah. Have a nice life.”

Click.

I wanted it to be short. I wanted it to be colourless.

Like love. Short. colourless. non existent. Break up call is something where you are supposed to be breaking up, alas.

I was burning inside. Never did I feel a stronger need to know what must’ve happened to her with this (call).

Days passed. Time went on. I spent days working and nights singing and shouting along to phil colin’s “I don’t care Anymore”.

When you are in relation with someone for a good time, everything seems to remind you of that ‘Someone’. Indeed time would heal the wound, but every wound before healing is bound to hurt more. Burn more.

And probably leave a mark.

Love is exactly like wound. Because it feels good to scratch around it. Scratch out good ol’ times.

After some more time, comes the time to stop whining about why did this happen. The Reason. Cause and effects. That time brings with it indifference, a sense of betrayal and remnants of untrust. Comes the time to wish the reality wasn’t this hard to mug. Comes the time to wish reality would be predictable. Comes the time for epic realization, that every relation is bound to fade, every affection bound to evaporate. What matters is time when the tides are gonna hit you.

I have come to believe that my sorrows are the only thing that are never going to leave me.

The last Cigarrette

He opened the pack and took the cigarette out.

“The last one“, he hissed, glancing at me.
The air breezed softly past us, the lighter fought to remain alive, a red glitch appeared through the corner of his mouth.

I felt the smoke on my face, “Why do you smoke?” I said, disgruntled with myself for some unobvious reason.

“Why don’t you?”

“It’s bad for lungs.”

“My lungs are no good.”

Silence followed. The smoke began to talk with air. Night started to wither along the cigarette. Somehow I felt this cigarette must not end. Chirag Deshpande

Suddenly he threw it away, halfway burnt, took his foot upon it, taking the life away from it.. I looked at his foot, then at him, then the smoke still reminiscent across, dissolving in the dark, just as it was supposed to.. How easy it’s for some things to let go.

“Is the dawn still away?”

“I guess not. You want to have some sleep?” Chirag Deshpande

“I want to wake up.”